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Posted on December 10, 2021

By Sherita Mouzon, Community Engagement Assistant

I wanted a better life for myself and for my daughter. When I looked back, I saw how much money I wasted and how my modeling career was ruined because of drugs. But I knew I had a strong will and determination for a better life.

I kept myself motivated by focusing on a vision what my life could be such as leaving toxic people and not being in dangerous environments that threatened my health and well-being. I did not want to be a prisoner of my circumstances. I wanted to be happy; I wanted to feel the way I used to before I got on drugs. I wanted that feeling of calmness and peace and euphoria that comes naturally. I wanted to go on trips and eat at restaurants of my choosing. I wanted to be extraordinary.

All my life I was always ostracized and isolated. I never had many friends, yet I was a people pleaser. I was looking to find what was broken and missing in my life. The night I became free, I laid in bed for 24 hours debating with myself if should I go out and buy drugs or just lay in bed. I went over the pros and cons. I thought about how I could move forward, how I could make an effective positive change. I wondered, where do I start? Who can help me?

My motivation on my path to recovery was a strong determination for a better life. Even when my husband died, I thought about relapsing. But I realized that was an easy way to cope with my grief. I came too far to let that happen. That would ruin everything that I worked so hard to get back, and I knew that I was better than my addiction.

For example, I have always wanted to have a nice, clean house full of plants. To push myself, I would watch television shows with houses or apartments that were so beautiful to me. It gave me the motivation that I needed to keep going. It have me a goal, something to live for. And now I have that! But I’m not done. I have to keep working on me…and, of course, bigger, more exotic plants.

Posted in Trauma and Healing, sherita-mouzon