You Get What You Give: Developing Positive and Respectful Classroom Relationships

During the year I spent teaching from various spaces in my home, my teaching was no longer something I did only when I was at work. Instead, it became something that was more visible to my family, including my children, and, consequently, my teaching was now open to their commentary and critique. As I prepped for class, I received the occasional, “your slides are boring, let me add some images,” and one of my kids once said, “it seems like you think your students have good ideas and you like to hear them.”

I also talked to my children a lot about their classes, their teachers, and teaching overall. They told me about their art teacher and why they loved her class so much. They described how every week they worked on projects that everyone could easily do at home and could always do in their own way. When I went to parent teacher conferences, one of my kid’s teachers shared that my child was attentive and engaged in class and always said good morning to everyone – except during the supreme court justice hearings, then my child’s teacher would hear his radio on in the background. What I noticed, and I know to be true, was that each of these teachers had gotten to know my children and their classmates and were working to create learning environments where all kids could engage with ideas and do so in ways that worked for them. I noticed that my kids felt their teachers knew them. My kids were describing aspects of good teaching, the stories and examples they shared from class demonstrated that my children respected teachers who they felt respected them back. They could tell they were respected by the ways their classrooms were structured and the ways their teachers interacted with them and their ideas. I took that all in and tried to remind myself how to do those things in my own classroom. Setting up a classroom that is welcoming and inclusive can be a challenge so here are a few quick and easy tips:

Learn your students’ names and pronouns

Learn their pronouns. You expect them to learn yours. Whether you do a seating chart, photo board, or name tents, make it clear you want to know who they are. We want to show students that they are not just a number in a seat and that you care about them and do so in the hopes that getting to know them will position you to create a classroom they want to be part of.

Show up to class on time--or better still--early!

If you are able to, showing up early can create a less formal space for students to interact with you and can allow students to ask questions and make small talk in a way that sometimes is harder to achieve during official class time. Non-class time can allow you to get to know students and them to get to know you without the pressure of it being connected to the content of the class. If you know you’re someone who typically gets to class early, let your students know that you plan to arrive early (or stay after class), and you welcome them to join you.

Respect all students’ contributions to class

Students’ contributions to discussions or answers to questions are a way for them to test their thinking and have you help them make sense of ideas and concepts. Students may not have every answer right yet, but if you are respectful to them as they are working on building those new thinking-patterns with your guidance, they will feel increasingly comfortable participating and engaging.

Be flexible

This can be hard for many instructors, but if you are flexible with when you accept work, then you can create more pathways to success for students. Many faculty have guidelines that allow students extra time so long as students are communicating with them about their progress and needs.

Praise publicly, criticize privately

Take the time to acknowledge students who demonstrate kindness, consideration, and support for fellow students and model positive classroom behavior for your students. If you have concerns about students’ interactions with their peers or you, find time to address that when you do not have the rest of the class as an audience.

Choose your words carefully

“I don’t care” can be used by instructors in an attempt to demonstrate flexibility but could also come across like you genuinely don’t care about your students. Try framing things in the positive – “Please feel free to excuse yourself to use the facilities during class without asking. I trust you to make that decision for yourself.”

Developing positive and respectful classroom relationships is an important part of a student’s emotional and social development, promotes self-esteem, and assists them in developing a sense of belonging which is known to be critical for persistence to graduation. Teaching students about positive and respectful relationships by modeling them in your classroom sets expectations and supports them as they experience the challenge of learning. Creating a positive and respectful classroom community can be a constant work in progress but implementing any one of these strategies will assist your students where they are.